Monday, December 20, 2010

It's almost Christmas time♥

It's almost time for the presents to be opened, and the family to come together, which just so happens to be my favorite time of year! Not only because of the huge feast and presents, but because I get to see my insane family all gathered into one room. Hopefully this season will be a good one, following with my birthday soon after. I've been making some pretty good choices lately. My family and I took a trip to a hotel last night to stay the night, just for fun, and I ordered roasted chicken instead of my notorious chicken fingers. As well as veggie's instead of fries. And this morning for breakfast, I had amazing scrambled eggs and cooked ham. It was great. And so far I've had a lot of energy! Oh! and I forgot to mention the four hours of swimming last night, and waking up at 4:30 A.M. to go work out in the gym at the hotel for an hour, followed by 2 more hours of swimming. I can't say I'm not completely exhausted and sore, because I totally am, but I think it was well worth it.
I haven't been feeling to great emotion wise, just because my social life has pretty much been really crappy, followed by some really sucky "friends". But i'll make it out okay. I've been doing a lot better than I expected before the first, which is a good thing, but I think I will start taking my dog for walks at night now, just because I love walking at night. But it's hard to keep motivation these days. Especially with dealing with so much. It makes it that much harder. But you just gotta push through and know that things will be so much better once your at the place that you want to be.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Alright a new idea♥

So instead of continuously apologizing for not writing every night, I have made a few resolutions. The first is, that I will write every week. No doubt, before 12a.m. on saturday night, I will at least have a new blog entry every week. If I occasionally feel like adding a few posts here and there, so be it. But I solemnly swear, pinky promise, that I will try my absolute hardest to write a new blog every week. My second resolution is probably the most important. I am ashamed to be saying this, just because I am backing out of what I have previously said, but I think I will have to start this "diet" of mine on January 1st of the new year. I understand this is entirely a let down, but the stresses of the holidays, as well as finals, are not providing me with much to work with. If I start at the beginning of the year, it will be entirely easier to accomplish this goal. It is also a setback, however, because I won't be able to lose 90 lbs, but only 80. Tomorrow, I have the gorgeous TaRhonda Thomas coming over to my humble abode in order to interview me, as well as make this blog a little more popular, so that more girls like me are aware of it. Although I am not officially starting my diet until January 1st, I do have some advice. Even though it is not being pressured, be sure to get some exercise once in a while. For example, I went and played a small amount of volleyball with my family today before it got dark. Also, if your a big organizer, such as me, plan out your diet. Create a calendar with the certain things your going to eat as well as exercise, and it will make it easier to accomplish rather than just  playing everything by ear. I do apologize for going back on my statement, but those are the most recent changes to this blog. If you would like to discuss anything, or you would like to ask me for advice on ANYTHING, i'm usually pretty good at that stuff. So don't be shy:)

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Sorry I haven't Posted in a While♥

Dear America,
I do sincerely apologize for not posting lately. As most of you all know, school finals are coming up, and I have been studying hard. It may be hard to believe, but I have lost most of my motivation. Which is never a good thing when it comes to loosing weight. Hopefully this blog will help me stay focused, if I just remember to write in it every night. Yesterday at work, I had a very rude family that came in and I made them sandwiches at their request. After I served them, one of the little boys made a remark to his father, "Dad look that girl has a baby in her tummy!" Soon after, his dad turns around laughing and asks, "do you have a baby in your tummy?" I flatly replied no, and retreated to go in the back, which was out of view from the customers. I was mortified. Never had someone been so completely rude to me about my weight, and especially to my face. After taking all the effort to hold back the tears, thoughts of going anorexic, as well as starving myself for the rest of the week kind of things. However, hours before that, my father and I had a discussion about having control of your "button". When people know how to push your button, they are going to do it continuously because they know it bothers you. The key is having control of your button. Whether you move your button, or don't let the topic bother you anymore, you have to take a step back, and realize that even though that person is intentionally targeting you, it may not have anything to do with you. From experience, I have had someone tell me every day, how bad I look, and someone very close to me express VERY mean things about my weight. However, after discussing it with my dad, I realized that them saying those things, and expressing negative things about me had nothing to do with me what so ever. She just knew how to push my button. Everyone has their own problems. And everyone deals with them in different ways. But some people choose to push other people's buttons, and make them wonder what is so wrong with them, when the problem isn't them at all. Food for the mind.
It is harder than expected to keep motivation to loose weight. But if your anything like me, your a dreamer. I day dream all the time about being thin, and looking how I want to look. Being overweight, completely erases any self confidence you may have ever had. You don't feel accepted, because usually you aren't. Your not always teased, but not acknowledged all together. I know all of this from personal experience. What it comes down to, is whether you want this enough to either give up, or do whatever it takes to keep going. Sometimes I try to picture myself if I don't do this. I won't have a boyfriend, not because i'm overweight, but because I don't have the confidence to have a boyfriend. I don't have a lot of friends, because I don't like talking to people due to their intake on my appearance. I have wanted this all my life, but I just can't find the will to do it. Hopefully if this get's more popular I will. I will hopefully be putting pictures up of what I look like now - minus the face - and what I will look like on the first day of school , senior year. So your task for the day is to decide whether you want this enough to not give up.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Fifth Day of Posting♥

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone♥ As we all know, today is national turkey day, and also the 2 day of the year that we stuff our face, aside from Christmas. Surprisingly I didn't eat as much as usual today. I skipped breakfast and lunch to save up room for my delicious turkey dinner with my family, but I didn't eat as much as I would have liked to. I've lost a certain taste for foods I used to love, which is worrying me a little. I played a little bit of volleyball today with my sister, as well as played sports on the Wii, and ran about the kitchen trying to prepare everything for my rather large family. Today was more of an off day. I didn't really push myself to eat a lot, or little, or do a lot of exercise. I didn't want to have to worry about that on top of everything I was thankful for. Unfortunately I will not be attending to oh so famous black Friday tomorrow, which I would have liked, but not having my license, and the fact my mother is buying presents FOR us, is kind of a big draw back. But definitely next year. Well, as it happens to everyone, I'm exauhsted from all that turkey today, so it's an early night for me. Goodnight America. Be Thankful.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

The Fourth Day of Posting♥

 November 24

Overall, today, I look back and realize I could have made some better choices. I am improving in some areas, but showing no change in others. For example, my mother and I went to Goodtimes for lunch today, and I ordered a double cheeseburger, which was terrible, but I did not eat the fries, and I chose water to drink. Although the water, and not eating the fries were good choices, the double cheeseburger threw me up to a whopping 670 calories. That's almost half of what my daily intake is supposed to be. Although I had a hard boiled egg for breakfast, which was good, I ended my day with two bites of clam chowder, as well as a small bowl of spaghetti. Smaller portions helped my diet a lot today, I noticed. If I was serving myself smaller portions, I wasn't bound to eat as much. I was pretty much content with my first serving, and didn't really have to go back for a second. I did get more exercise today then usual, but it was doing something I love, Shopping. Any time, any place, if shopping is involved, I will be there. That is one of the best ways for me to get my daily exercise intake, is to get my debit card, and ring it up! So to whoever is reading this, find something you absolutely love doing, whether it's getting a pass to your local indoor pool, taking your precious dog for a walk, dancing, which I absolutely LOVE, or shopping. Either way, it gets more exercise than just sitting watching TV, and you don't have the feeling that your being forced to do it. Your enjoying yourself while getting that blood pumping. A good way to create motivation to loose the weight you want to loose, is to not measure what weight you want to be at, but the size you want to be. For instance, i'm at about a size 18-20 in women's jeans. I am making a goal to be at a size 6-8 by the end of this. Another thing, is get a picture of what you want your body to look like, and put it in your bedroom, or wall or wallet or something, and when you feel like you would just die for that candy bar, whip out that picture. Or in my case, save up a bunch of money for a new clothes shopping spree when you get to your ideal size, and don't take out a dime of that money, until your at the weight you want to be at. Working for what you want is the one and only way to do this. So get er done:) ♥

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Third Day of Posting♥

November 23
Today was easier than I thought it would be. Although I wouldn't recommend not eating breakfast, I got out of school at 11:20, and was able to enjoy a delicious lunch with my mom at olive garden. Although I ordered the "Endless Soup, Salad, and Breadsticks" this did not serve me well. I ordered the Chicken and Ghnocci, which is absolutely mouthwatering, but I pretty much ate my entire 1,200 calories in one sitting, if not more. I was never a person that took a liking to salad, so I did not have any, but I did focus mainly on my soup, rather than have breadstick after breadstick. As for drinks, I had 2 dr. Pepper's, which is a big no no, and a water. A little trick I always use with drinks is to order what you prefer, but ALWAYS with a water. If your like me, and go through work to get to play, you will finish off your water first, and while your enjoying your meal, you will be casually taking a drink of your soda. Hence, you won't be drinking as much soda, then if you would have just gotten soda. It's a small tip, but soda is one of the worst drinks for you.
So far, it is about 2:30, and that is all I have had today. I left there feeling content from just my soup. A good way to cut down. Find a scrumptious soup that you love, and eat it for your meals until you have every ingredient memorized just by tasting it.
Being a teenager, I completely understand all of the stresses of being overweight. You hold back from doing everything that your "skinny" friends do. It is harder to find clothes than it is to find a Mcdonalds in Africa. You have no self confidence, and we all know boys is a big part of it. But aside from all of that, being healthy is also one of the biggest concerns. Anyone has the power to lose weight. The hard part is resisting urges, and those stupid Dairy Queen commercials. So many kids die from heart attacks when they are young because they are obsessively overweight, especially in the United States. And I don't know about you, but one of my biggest dreams is to be famous. To be a singer/actress/model. I would do anything for that. But the most overweight TV star seen these days is Rosanne Barr. 
I'm not saying fat people aren't loved. I mean, hello, Santa Clause. But it is just such a better lifestyle. And c'mon girls, we know we want it. It needs to happen in a young age, because unlike photos, it doesn't get better with age. If we break the cycle now, there's nothing stopping us. So get out there and take that walk you've been dying to take while there is still sun in the sky, and it's not raining snowballs.

Second Day of Posting♥

 November 22
Today was an easy day to begin with. I had two bites of a terrible breakfast burrito I made in catering class. As well as pigging out after school. But I also realized that I can't finish a whole serving of food. So I guess that's good right? I think this is going to be a lot harder than I thought it would be.
As for tomorrow, I don't think I will be eating much at all. I recently found out that a good friend of mine's mother just passed away today. News such as this completely devastates me. He is one of the best guys I have ever known, and his is the last person to ever deserve to have his mom taken from him at such a young age. My thoughts and prayers will always be with him and his dear family.
However, this gives me a new perspective that I should have had a long time ago. In order to lose the weight I want to lose, yet have a better personality, and feel a lot better about myself, my weight is not the only thing I will have to change. To better myself for a bright future ahead, I will indeed have to get myself into a better state of mind as well as stop feeling sorry for myself. There are much worse scenarios then mine, and I always have to keep that in mind. Although I have had a few family members pass, I still have both of my parents and my siblings. So this plan to lose weight will be an overdue reality check as well.
To get back to the main point of this blog, I did not exercise today. I had many opportunities, yet I chose not to. Wrong Choice. Thanksgiving is approaching quickly, and as we all know, I'm going to need more than just a walk up and down the street. In order to prep for 1,200 calories as well as 1 hour of cardio a day, I am going to have to start walking more and more every day, as well as doing cardio. In order to break the cycle of overeating and hardly getting exercise for most of my life, preparation is quite necessary.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

The First of Many♥

I am currently a 15/almost 16 year old American girl. I am 6ft tall, yet I hold a weight of almost 250 lbs. I have challenged myself to loosing 90 lbs in a total of 9 months.Which inconsequentially is when my senior year starts =D
But loosing this weight isn't going to be easy. But it needs to happen on top of family stress, school stress, and friends. But I am oh so determined to do this. So whatever teenage girl may need my help, this is your guide. I will write in this blog every night about how I am doing, what I have eaten, and my experiences. It's going to be hard. But it needs to happen. Being overweight holds back the greatest joys in life. Especially for me. I haven't had a shred of self confidence since the 3rd grade. Its my time to break the family cycle of being overweight.
In order to do this, I have calculated that I will indeed only be allowed 1,200 calories per day. Which is a MAJOR set back. Also I will have to do 45 Minutes of cardio each day. Once I figure out what that is, I will be gettin to it. I will start my training and prepping for my "diet" Tomorrow, November 22. And will officially start goin at it on December 1st. Which will be the first day of the rest of my life. America, Let's do this.